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tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  February 1, 2013 7:25pm-7:55pm PST

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[cheers and applause] >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. thank you so much. [cheers and applause] as you know, the colbert nation is ever-growing. mostly because every night this inspires millions to procreate. [ laughter ] [cheers and applause] i assume some of you are doing it right now, in which case: babe ruth had a batting average of .342 and an earned run average of 2.28.
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you're welcome. [ laughter ] tonight i want to congratulate my wardrobe mistress antonia xereas, who just gave birth to the newest citizen of the colbert nation: loukas ramon sanchez-- [cheers and applause] classic greek name. welcome to the world, loukas, i've got a little advice for you. crying is an excellent way to get your mother's attention. works for me every time. now, please, send your mommy back to work as soon as possible. i can't dress myself. this is a clip on. not the tie-- the entire suit. [ laughter ] captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh
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ready to go. ready to go. ready to go. ready to go. from comedy central's world headquarters this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["the colbert report" theme music playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show" my name is jon stewart. good one tonight jason baitman. -- bateman. fine actor, funny man. we begin in congress where the senate wanted to get a quick discussion of possible gun control legislation. quit looking at the philosophy of not enacting any gun regulations. if you look at why our founding fathers put it there, they lived under the tyranny of king george and they wanted to make sure free people in this new country would never be subjugated again
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and never have to live under tyranny. >> jon: or democratic decisions they don't agree with, you know, that's what the guns are for. so the idea is guns are a bullworth against dictatorship. why else do we need guns? >> what people all over the country fear today is being abandoned by their government. >> jon: the wait, what? the -- i'm lost. >> you could find yourself in this country in a lawless environment through a natural disaster or riot. ma rawing gangs going throughout the area looting stores, looting, robbing and raping. >> jon: if you close your eyes lindsey graham delivers a pretty
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good tennessee williams -- you don't understand there are mauraderes out there and me here on a staircase in only a neglig, we just my parasol and julep to protect me. looting robbing and raping. they may be a gang but you have to admire their ambition. that's a maurading gang going places. [ laughter ] we need guns to protect us on a government on the verge of fascism and impotence. hasn't gone either way, but it could. no one has suggested disarming the pocket. that's the point. we're talking about restricting certain military style weapons as we do with tanks, businesses and i don't know napalm.
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what is wrong with that? >> i'm holding in a hand a pistol grip. under this proposed legislation if this piece of plastic, this pistol grip were attached to this rifle, it would suddenly become a banned assault weapon. >> jon: actually it's suppose tbed a picture of an assault weapon which even under obama's rein would still be legal. fair point there are arbitrary aspects and silly aspects to the legislation that perhaps a young faced fresh legislator clearly eager to shape legislation could shape. maybe don't make it about the grip but fire rate magazine size. >> we hear that nobody needs larger magazines that thoses that use to shoot deers but an attacking criminal unlike a deer
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shoots back. >> jon: unlike a deer, someone hasn't seen bambo. lyme is the disease, bambo is the cure! he really looks a lot like a kangaroo right there. that's -- like a kangaroo imitating cleopatra. this gun control discussion is off to a standard and redundant start. are there any new arguments that can push the assault weapon ban forward. >> young women are speak out as to why the ar-15 weapons are the weapon of choice. >> jon: worst j-date profile entry ever. [ laughter ] that's gun activity gail prado. she has a story to tell why ladies need ar-15s. >> i would like to begin with the compelling story of sarah mckinley. home alone with her baby she called 911 when two violent
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intruders began to break down her front door. ms. mckinley fired her weapon fatally wounding one of the violent attackers. the other fled. [ laughter ] >> jon: powerful. anecdotal but powerful doesn't go to the fact that you are according to most studies for more likely to be hurt by a gun in the home than use it to protect from an assailant. >> quick question, she used a remington 870-express 12-gaig shotgun that would not be banned under the proposed statute, correct? >> i don't remember what type of weapon she used. [ laughter ] >> jon: you don't remember. you told a james joyceian story about the lady and the robbers.
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you don't remember the gun, ie, the only detail relevant to the hearing. it was a nonbanned weapon, a shotgun. why do you need an ar-15. >> the peace of mind that a woman has as she's facing three, four, five violent attackers, intruders in her home, with her children screaming in the background, the peace of mind knowing she has a scary looking gun gives her more courage when she's fighting hardened violent criminals. >> jon: when did it turn into three and four and five. jeez, where did she live the alamo? what are you talking about? let's move to the nra proposal. we'll move to something more mainstream. universal background checks. >> obviously we have some background checks.
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it's how encompassing do you do it? do you do it to a father selling to a son, or another relative. how do you cover everything? i think that's the issue. and also the extent of which you have private sales on sunday between relatives. [ laughter ] >> jon: i'm not going to pass judgmenten -- judgment on a culture which is foreign to me but is that really how it works, sunday is family gun swap day? is that how it goes? i have to get out more. anyone else have a reason. >> when it comes to background checks, let's be honest. they'll never be universal because criminals will never submit to them. >> jon: good point let's pass laws that only criminals will immediately obey. let's do that. what is this thou shalt not
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kill. murderers will bypass that. they'll find a way around it. [ laughter ] i don't know who to trust here. i know the main lobbyist for gun manufacturers has a unique insight on to whether background checks work. let's ask you, why do you think? >> background checks work. >> jon: says you! [ laughter ] baltimore county police chief. back it up. >> they stop nearly two million prohibited purchases between 1994 and 2009. extending a background check to all firearm purchases could easily be implemented and it should be without delay. >> jon: you say that and they say it doesn't work at all. humor me, let's say for a minute background checks will work, any other reason not to do it? >> i just don't think law-abiding people want every
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gun sale in the country under the thumb of the federal government. >> jon: except that literally almost all of them do. including almost all americans living with a member of the nra. i know a gentleman who makes a wonderful case for universal background checks. >> let's talk about what is reasonable and what is not. we think it's reasonable to provide mandatory instant criminal background checks for every sale at every gun show. no loopholes anywhere for anyone. >> jon: wow, background checks used to be supported by 100% of wayne's la pierre. that might have been the last (zíçdl0&a(pc,9k([xañp%
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>> jon: welcome back. so as president obama is pushing
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for new gun regulations, he is struggling to gain credibility to skeptical gun owners. in a recent interview with the new republic magazine he mount a frontal attack. >> he was asked if he shot a gun. he said, yes with his guests at camp david he goes skeet shooting all the time. >> jon: yes, all the time. [ laughter ] you can barely hear yourself think over all the shooting of skeet. this seems wrong on many levels. for starters he appears to think the best place to reach out to gun owners is the pages of the new republic. a bit of a tell i was telling ms magazine that i love nascar and i myself driven multiple dodge chargers. nothing will work. you'll get this every time. >> we do skeet shooting all the time. really?
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all the time? >> has anyone ever heard president obama owns a gun, likes to shoot and shoots all the time. >> don't you have to prove it? >> there are no photos to prove it. >> why are v- we not heard of this. >> where say picture. they release a photograph of president obama doing everything except for flossing. [ laughter ] >> jon: why won't the black have the country lives in fear of release a picture of himself holding a gun? i don't understand, it would be everyone at ease. why won't he do it? [cheers and applause] to be clear, this will is skeet-gate. cnn white house correspondent. >> how often does the president go skeet shooting and are there photographs of him doing so? >> i would refer you to his comments. i don't know how often. he does go to camp david with regular later but i'm not sure
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how often. >> jon: is there a photograph of him doing it? >> there may be but i haven't seen it. >> why haven't we heard about it before? >> jon: it's funny you haven't heard about it billion because i it falsely shows him as a gun rights sympathizer so we can abolish liberty and i assume -- but i'm going to have to check on that lax laugh i don't get it. by the way, with the whole does he shoot guns, does he not shoot? since when did the ability to fire a weapon become a badge of honor? a patriotic achievement? all you need is a finger. merit wise it ranks right up there with this. the point is, mr. president, what are you doing? why try. as far as most of your opponents
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nothing will ingratiate you to them. as summed up in the dr. seuss classic oh, the people who hate you. may i? let me turn over here. i got this: they do not like you barack obama whether on a train, a plane or llama. [ laughter ] they do not like you shooting skeet, they do not like you eating meat. they do not like you drinking beer or even if i rope a steer. they won't like you with the monster trucks because, young man, they do not give a (bleep). they do not like you when you pray. they did not like you anti-gay. they do not like you cutting tax. you could not stand when you we are your mommy's slacks. [ laughter ] you cannot reach across the
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aisle because everything you do is vile. they complained when you killed owe psalma so on a train or plane or lamba, rolling a 44 at bowl-a-rahma despite your nice white kansas mama, comma, they do not like you, barack obama. í<
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[cheers and applause]
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>> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight new film is called "identity thief". >> don't shut door, leave it. >> now, this is his favorite part. he likes to be humiliating verbally. >> no i don't. >> you sissy boy. >> that's enough of this. >> sissy boy. it's time to give him the big show. boom boom! >> no need for the show. put it back on. whoo! whoo! whoo! >> jon: please welcome back to the show, jason bateman. [cheers and applause] magic! magic. you are a magic man. you are a magic man! [cheers and applause]
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i mean there's nothing worse than a quarter standing ovation. good lord, thank you for leading that. [cheers and applause] >> jon: i'm working out how we're going to edit around that. how are you? the movie, melissa mccarthy -- >> did you see it? >> jon: the movie is great. it lags a bit -- >> hey. >> jon: do you remember the old sonny and cher show? >> i do not. >> jon: cher was a comic. she was a rocket to the stars. you could not hold her back. when she was on camera it was electric. >> am i sonny, goddamn it? >> jon: there was a bass player in the band. [ laughter ] >> oh --
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>> jon: sonny also had a little something. >> i was feeling pretty today. >> jon: do you like -- >> my colon loved it. >> jon: you were great together. it's a great interplay. >> she's not crazy. which is number one for tting along with a costar and having good chemistry. l.a. does not al tract a lot of world beaters. specifically the entertainment industry. by definition we're looking for attention. >> jon: it's a narcissistic pursuit to some extent. >> stop cutting me off! [ laughter ] [cheers and applause] >> jon: edity around it. >> -- edit around it. >> that was a tie-in to the narcissism. >> jon: that's exactly right. i think they just enjoyed the slam of it. >> she's so darn easy to get along with and she's funny and
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she's professional and she works hard. >> jon: she also. i asked her also about you. i don't want to run the clip obviously because you have a long flight home and i don't want to do that to you. >> did she think she was working with nathan or jerry o'connell? i get it all the time. >> jon: brecken meyer. >> i get him, too. >> jon: do you really? >> i get justin three times a week. hey, justin, i love everything you do. buddy, you don't know my name. >> jon: why justin. >> i think they do a hybrid with justine that comes out justin. >> jon: i they drop the silent e. i was thinking it's a little timer lake-y.
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you bring the sexy back. you've been doing it for years. >> and jon, can i sing. >> jon: are you a triple threat. >> can i have a segment -- i i don't sing. >> jon: can i ask a question do you have time to stick around and go to the web? [cheers and applause] because this is one of those unusual nights where i can't stay. i have -- >> it's nothing against you there's -- [ laughter ] there's a gastroenter rolings that i go to on the upper east side whose office hours are meshuggenah but i'm glad you could stay. >> or if you need that colonoscopy. >> jon: you are a quadruple threat. you can sing and do a colonoscopy. it's fun to play because you are
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just funny man. in the movies on the talk shows. >> hey, man. >> jon: it's just good and you and melissa are really good there. >> the movie turned out very, very well. i'm very, very proud of it. >> jon: do you have 20 seconds? >> sure. one of worst experiences-life i was just -- no, no,. i was watching a tasteful movie one of high broa films i i like to go to with my wife. >> jon: i understand. are we talking about tangled? >> and a trailer comes on for a film that i'm not particularly proud of but i was in it. [ laughter ] and it will go nameless. [ laughter ] and a gal a few seats down from me. the preview happens it's not getting a great reaction from the crowd. goes to black getting ready for the next trailer. silence in the movie theater where you hear a smart ass pop
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off. she's sitting to my right and she goes, anyway -- and i so badly because i like to have the last joke of the trailer, too. if i leaned forward and said, not for you? i wanted to just triple bitchy but i was just too mortgageified to move -- mortified to move. >> jon: justin bateman, ladies and gentlemen. it's in they're at thises friday
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